My Confession
	Leo Tolstoy (1904)
	
	Intro to Philosophy
	Professor Douglas Olena
Part IV
	I am full of all the good things of life. I am happy.
	I am in despair trapped between an infuriated beast and a dragon.
	I grab a branch on the side of the well. Mice are gnawing at the root of the branch.
	I lick honey that does not satisfy from the leaves of the branch
	Suicide seems to be the logical way out of the dilemma.
Part VII
	Science didn¹t help clear things up.
	What do men do in my situation?
		³The first way out is through ignorance.² 164
		³The second way out is through Epicureanism.²
		³The third way out is through force and energy.²
		³The fourth way out is through weakness² 165
Part VII
	³The fourth way out was to live in the condition of Solomon, of Schopenhauer,‹to know that life was a stupid joke played on me, and yet to live, wash and dress myself, dine, speak, and even write books.²
	³That was repulsive and painful for me, but still I persisted in that situationŠ.² 166
Part XII
	Out in the woods ³I was again searching for God.²
	³All right, there is no God,² there is no proof for a God.
	Wondering where the idea of God came from restored life in me.
	In retaliation, my mind reminded me that ³The concept of God is not God.² ³I am not searching after a concept that arises in myself, but trying to find that without which life could not be.²
	³And again everything began to die around me and within me, and I wanted again to kill myself.² 166
Part XII
	³What then are these revivals and deaths?²
	Certainly I do not live when I lose my faith in the existence of God: I should have killed myself long ago, if I had not had the dim hope of finding him. ŒSo what else am I looking for?¹ a voice called out within me. ŒHere he is. He is that without which one cannot live. To know God and live is one and the same thing. God is life.¹² 167
Part XII
	³Live searching after God, and then there will be no life without God.²
	³And stronger than ever all was lighted up within me and about me, and that light no longer abandoned me.²
	³Thus I was saved from suicide.²
Part XII
	Parable of the riverŠ 167
	³That shore was God, the direction was tradition, the oars were the freedom given me to row toward the shore,‹to unite myself with God.²
	³Thus the force of life was renewed in me, and I began to live once more.² 168